Sunday, November 10, 2013

Parenthood, a life changer and the crazy shit it makes you say.

I always knew that becoming a mother would be a life changer, I mean it starts with peeing on a stick, as if that's not weird enough, and then you get the dreaded sickness - if you are lucky it's just in the mornings, but general consensus is that it's pretty much all day for the first trimester, and lucky me, that was what I experienced.
Then came the back ache, and being completely incapable of sleeping in my bed for the last 6 months of my pregnancy I slept every night on the recliner, it was quite literally the only way I could be comfortable. That being said, the first time I felt my boy kick, my heart literally skipped a beat, and after that, I would lay on that recliner at night talking to him, rubbing my ridiculously large belly, and occasionally singing to him. Since he was a December baby, my song of choice was "All I want for Christmas" by Mariah Carey, and I swear he still recognizes it when I sing it to him.

Anyway, skip past the birth because I had a wonderfully non painful scheduled c-section (aside from the catheter, why they couldn't wait until I was numb do that is beyond me, that was awful).

Our boy was horribly colicky, so the first 3 months were a trial at best, but after that, he started sleeping through the night, feeding properly, and eventually was taking small amounts of pureed foods. I only wish I had known then what I know now about GMO's or I would have made every since batch of puree from fresh organic vegetables...but that's a whole other story.

So, now our boy is almost two and since he's been able to walk I have found myself having to speak some of the most bizarre sentences. Today's special: I had to use the rest room, and of course, curious little boy that he is he follows me, with his talking toy monkey in hand. He tells me "pee pee' and I say "Yes baby, mummy goes pee pee on the potty". The hubby is in the other room laughing at my inability to use the restroom in peace and then he shouts something to me and I had to respond with "Sorry, I can't hear you, i'm in the bathroom and this monkey is really loud". I heard myself say it, and just laughed, I mean really, when will I ever have to make a statement like that again? 
I know there have been many others, and I wish I had written them down, but I have no doubt there will be many more.

I let the hubby get his laughs from these things though, he is after all the one who had his hand quite literally pooed in when our boy was just a couple of days old.
I was on the couch, unable to move move because of my c-section and he was changing our boy on the changing table, he pulled away the dirty diaper, and as he was sliding the new one under, our boy pooed, and not just a little bit either. Hubby was standing there holding our boys legs up with one hand and a handful of stinky baby poop in the other. He was shouting at me to stop laughing and come and help him, but of course laughing was not optional, and the more I laughed the more my incision hurt, so I couldn't move. He still likes to remind me of that from time to time. The day I left him standing helpless with a handful of baby poop. I just tell him it will be a wonderful story to tell the first girlfriend our boy brings home!!

1 comment:

  1. Good to hear from you again, Saffy!! Two years old???...My, time does FLY!!! :-)

    Thanks for the comment. And I have the worst Tat Envy now because of his tat. I'm working on deciding what my next one will be.